Ethan's only four,but does your child have a hard time in any new situation?

[Shopaholic]

Ethan takes a while to get used to new situations. He ususally has a tough time at a new church classroom, new school type thing, if I leave him at the gym child care, etc- once he gets used to the routine or what's expected of him, that the toys will still be there, he usually does alot better. today was the first day of his summer preschool (its the town's "mini camp" for preschool age kids). He had a really tough time. The teacher said he had a bunch of meltdowns, grabbed toys from kids, etc. He's not usually grabby like that. I coudl tell he was nervous and shaky when I came to get him and when the teacher said, "Could yous tay behind until the kids are gone so we can chat?" I knew he had a tough morning. Idid tell her he'd have a tough time most likley. Luckily, his regular preschool teacher from the year is part of the town's program too so I called her and she said she was perfectly happy to talk to his summer preschool teacher. both of them have tosn of experience with this age group-- his summer camp teacher is a kindy teacher duruing the regular school year.

I just feel so acidy right now, KWIM? It eats away at me when stuff ilke this is going on. I feel bad thinking, "I just want him to behave and not have meltdowns and just not have to deal with this" but I also know its not atypical behavior and we just have to help him adjust. (the selfish part of me thinks the first part - I feel guilty) I just want him to have fun, enjoy himself, and benefit from the social interaction at preschool. Luckily, one of his best friends from preschool is in the class and one of our family friends that we see all the time is in the class. Its only six weeks long, so its not ilke heh as tons of time to adjust.

We haven't really been in any new situations in a while- I mean, we've been going to our church for a year now and he's had a whole year of preschool where he was getting glowing reviews from his teacher by the end of year, so I guess I thought his 'adjustment period" was over.. guess not.

[jennifrog]

I could write the exact same post for my E. He is 3.5 and exactly the same. I always warn his teachers that he is a bit slow to warm and get into the groove of a new situation. He is also in the summer playcamp and having a tough time adjusting to the change. He is on week 3 and just now not crying when I drop him off. It breaks my heart to leave him at school all sad, but he is always happy when I pick him up and talks about all the fun he had.

[Shopaholic]

Ethan is the opposite in a way LOL- happy when I drop him off, strung out when I pick him up b/c he had a rough time. He keeps saying he likes it and wants to go back. He was SO excited to go so I feel bad that he had a rough time.

I got an email from his preschool teacher's asst (she's on ETSY too so I wrote her asking if she could have the regular teacher call me- I didn't have her number) and she said that Ethan is so great and they are lucky to have him. that made my day- she was his buddy alot at preschool- she'd hold his hand when they walked somewhere, sat in his lap at story time, etc. It just made me feel good b/c I know he can be alot of work adn that makes me worry that the teacher wishes he wasn't there or something like that. :( I just want him to be happy and successful;

[Katherine]

Ellie (5 tomorrow !!!!) is kinda that way. Once she has a routine, she's good, and she never acts out for others, like grabbing things/tantrums, but she has a rough, rough time with new things/places/people.

Example - at church, they're in the summer program. It's in a different classroom than her school-year sunday school class. It's the same room she was in last summer. The first day of summer classes, she did ok, the teacher was her very fave and she was one of the oldest, most "experienced" UU kids in the class that day, so she did well. The teacher was the one who brought her out of her shell last year when she had trouble adjusting, so she put Ellie is a leadership position in the class and Ellie ate it up.

The next week was a new teacher, who was tall, large (not a dig, just she was nordic and big boned), had an accent, and had her two older boys there as her helpers. Ellie was fa-reaked out. even with one of her school year regular teachers there as a parent helper, she wouldn't detach. If she could have crawled up my skirt, she would have. I mean, they were doing Horton hears a who that day, and she was too freaked out to participate. I ended up there the entire time w/ my child trying to share my skin. last week I was a helper, and she did the same - new teachers, trying to graft herself onto me....

the trick with her is to help her find someone to be close to, someone to trust in a situation, someone she knows she can turn to/latch on to. That's kinda hard inthe summers at church when the teachers change each week. It sounds like Ethan also needs someone to connect with - is it possible for you to encourage that relation ship with his teacher? have him make her a drawing to give her, or maybe he can write his name down to show to her (to show off his skillz)...? Ellie does do better when she enters a situation with something like that planned - it's like it's a bit of a crutch. we do it for the dr's - she takes her "body" book to show the dr her new fave organ or soemthing.

good luck - i was totally squeetched out when she just would.not.let.me.leave and started throwing a major fit at the thought - pulling at me, pawing at my shirt (???), whining...

[Shopaholic]

thanks for the advice! He did connect big time to the aide in his preschool class. She became his "buddy" and would be hisp artner for walking, sitting in her lap at story time, etc. She was very "mom like" and the aide for the summer class is a college student. Hopefully she might be willling to sort of takeEthan under her wing. I just saw in her bio forthe handout that she is going to the same college in CT that I got my master's degree at- I figure I'll bring that up today, make a connection w/ her and then ask her if she woudl be Ethan's buddy.

[Manda00]

ugh. :hugs: My almost 4 year old is the pretty similar... although right now it's just "Freak out because I can't SEE Mom"... even leaving him with DH he wigs out. I think that me... as MOMMY .. IS his routine.. if that makes sense. He can go anywhere and do anything.. as long as he has his constant with him: me.

sigh.

[LoveMuffins]

DS was the same way, he's 5 now and doesn't freak out too often when I am not around. He still doesn't like it..
I am not sure how Kindergarten will be come fall. :sigh:

[Shopaholic]

he had a great day on Thursday - seemed like he knew what to expect and was more comfortable :) I'm so glad! Its only a t/w/th preschool for summer so we'll see what Tuesday holds!

[klen]

That's good to hear Kelly! DG just gets really quiet when he's at a new place or new situation with new people. He's a very outgoing and energetic kid. But he becomes very introverted in new situations. Like we went to my nephews swim meet this weekend and he knows everyone (family) but it was a new place and he wouldn't leave my lap or talk to anyone not even his favorite auntie. And would barely talk to his cousin who he begs to play with. Very unlike him.

[jennifrog]

I'm glad to hear that it is getting better, and that he found a "buddy". My guy is doing better this week too, he seems really to like his teacher now. I here "Miss. Mellisa" this and "Miss Mellisa" that a lot throughout the day. Too bad she not going to be his teach come fall :sigh:

[randareena]

:hide: I'm 28 and I have a hard time adjusting to new places/situations. Like anxiety attack hard time.

[raindrop_333]

:hide: I'm 28 and I have a hard time adjusting to new places/situations. Like anxiety attack hard time.

:yeahthat: Except I'm 23.